The driving blog that should have been....

It has been on my mind for a while that I should have started to blog again so as to chronicle my learning to drive experience and after passing. Every time I drove for the first few weeks something would happen and I thought 'I should blog that'. Suffice to say it never happened!

Today I drove home from work in the dark and rain. Both are awful but together they make life so much harder! You can't see the markings on the road properly, I worry about my stopping distances, you have to NOT watch the windscreen wipers as they swish, but you have to switch them on, faster, slower, faster again in accordance with the strength and ferocity of the rain.

Also today I gave my friend a lift home from the garage after following him there in separate cars. We have very different driving styles and I have tried to make an agreement with him to appreciate our differences and not give each other grief about it. Neither of us can stick to it. Today, on the wet roads, in his noisy car,  my friend did and excited wheel skid and charged down the road. I laughed and rolled my eyes thinking 'what will the neighbours think?'!! But he is an essential tool and great friend when I am having difficulties with Geoffrey. Thats my car, Geoffrey: GFV.

upsidedown

i feel like the universe is really trying to knock me on my arse at the moment. bad news coming at me left, right and centre. i am swinging wildly between falling apart and being the inner monologue of reason. there is not much in the middle.

a merica.

Its thursday. I leave on tuesday.

I keep juggling everything I need to do in my head and only some of it gets written down; hopefully the more important things. Left to do....

hand washing

washing washing

pack

wax

notify the bank of my travel plans so they don't cancel my cards

calm down

get currency

read the rest of my NYC guidebook

oh and a little of the organising in NC.

do i need to take sun glasses??

some days i'm lonely.

some days i'm just alone.

american dreams

I have had 3 bad dreams about my America trip so far he first two were that I got there and realised I had forgotten to bring my camera. Then last night I had a dream that my whole family (including gran) flew over and then my mum, dad and gran left me and Simon to travel around together. I had a real sense of abandonment at that point and we were left with a car that neither of us could drive and nowhere to sleep, though I think now... why didn't we just sleep in the car?! Then the next bad bit was I was on a minibus coming home from the airport with some of my friends from Cumbria who also had been travelling in America and I was trying to tell them about my trip and I couldn't remember ANYTHING to tell them about. I started crying because I couldn't remember anything and didn't have any memories of my trip and then I looked at my emails on my phone and found emails I had sent that showed me some of our activities. The main one that featured in the dream was that we had been to the office and gallery of this website that took two famous people and made pictures of what their kids would look like!!!

I hope I have some funerer things to do when I go for real!

and on to 2011....

This year is going to be great. So far on the agenda....

5 week trip to America, stopping in NYC, Portland, Denver, Madison, Asheville, Wilmington, DC and back to NYC. Seeing all my favourite people that still have hands and fingers that enable them to write back.

I think i'm going to Wales in May with mum, dad and Si.

We've already done one trade fair with Emily's Ark which went really well and we have another one in a week.

I just bought some great new boots.

I am expecting two engagements this year, both of which I am finger crossing for maid of honour duties. Not that I'd know how to do that.

2010 was the year that...

My second degree came to an end, we had an auction night in the Tyneside Coffee Room, an exhibition at school and then and exhibition in London at the AoP. It was all a bit of an anti-climax and I left it feeling the same way I did the first time, dispirited and disappointed. Though I did just squeeze a 1st. Since then I have done very little to nothing and barely kept in touch with people from my course. In fact I just deleted some of them from FB.

The housing situation changed; Rhys, Lex and Kerri all left and Orla, Markus and Mandy all moved in. We're still at 95 in a damp mould ridden house with faulty heating and less drain pipes since the snow.

Snow! There was lots of it and I loved it. It just kept snowing and snowing. I walked in the park and grinned at the sky and blinked the flakes out of my lashes. Amazing fun to walk in the snow, even if it was just to and from bus stops.

My great uncle Norman had his 80th birthday and there was a large family gathering to celebrate. Our family doesn't really gather and it was great to feel a part of something bigger than just us Perrys. I tried to maintain contact but I failed, he only lives in Witley Bay but not near any public transport so I was reliant on him for lifts to and from which meant I had to play by his schedule which discouraged me greatly.

I had a lovely birthday with friends from home and Newcastle and a meal at Bruges in Jesmond followed by drinks at the Cluny.

I got a second job. It started as an unpaid internship but after 2weeks I was offered 2days a week paid so I jumped at the chance. I was working 7days a week for a while but now I'm back down to a sturdy 6! Emily's Ark is a small creative business designing and hand crafting teddy bears and other animals. I learnt SAGE and a bit about marketing and made a very good friend in Tor Fenton who I desperately miss since she moved home to Brighton. We did a number of Xmas Fairs and I attended the Country Living on in Glasgow. It was bit of a bust business wise but great fun to be there. I also helped to gain us some exposure by sending Vincent the Elephant to Dannii Minogue and she tweeted about Emily's Ark.

The restaurant is failing quite miserably, the Metro Centre is designed to take business away from us. I got a promotion so I am the In-Store Trainer but we have had few new recruits and what we have had are shit. We have a new guy who I think will be really good, if they would just let me train him instead of having him as a food runner. I need to put my foot down. Although we have been busier over Xmas and New Year its still not really enough.

Xmas was lovely, I got 4 days off!! Lovely to see my family and have everyone together. Brilliant to see Hazel and her family. Hearty hugs from friends and people I generally miss. Why can't everyone just move to Newcastle??

New Year was a funsome event. Me and Kerri went for lunch and then to see Burlesque starring Cher, Christina Aguilera and Stanley Tucci. We were then planning to just have quiet drinks, which we did. Until we got to revolution. At which point we looked knowingly at each other and then dove head first down the rabbit hole. NY was spent in Perdu and then when Kerri left I headed to WHQ to meet up with Tor, dragging with me some poor scottish guy I made out with at midnight. Three days later I realised I'd lost my leather jacket and had to return to the scene of the crime to pick it up. There were two other people there to do the same.

and that, roughly was 2010. Add in some drunken nights and kissing of boys yet lack of anything of any meaning or consequence. Some general correspondence. A lot of shopping. And then a lot of saving of money because 2011 shows promise....

bad dream

I was at my parents house and in the garden and there were a lot of people milling around and then they were all rounded up in quite an aggressive manner to the bottom of the garden. I slipped away and went into the house. I looked out of the window and the people were being made to strip and line up in pairs at gunpoint. I tried calling the police but just got garbled messages back on my mobile. I was running around trying to find the house phone and found some people hiding in the spare bedroom. I tried again to call the police again and couldn't hear what they were saying so I just kept repeating my call for help. I heard someone coming up the stairs so I put the phone in a drawer and we all tried to look casual. Someone came in with a girl in a shopping trolley looking really scared and they got a baby out of a purse and gave it to me saying I had to look after it cos the other newborn babies didn't like it and were attacking it!!! They left and I looked out of the window. It looked like people were being baptised in the pond next to the house and then they were all gonna be shot. There were some police around but they seemed to be involved in it. We found some comic cartoon strips that showed the plan to get people into the cult and then kill them.

Then the real police came and arrested my family and they were really sad and siappointed with me and then I was left in this big destroyed house with police tape and rubble everywhere and some of the children from the people in the cult (go knows where the baby has gone by this point). Then I realise I need the cartoon strips as evidence so I go and find this man stealing them from the phone box outside the house where I had put them, I reach into the car and get some of them back as he's driving off. I am allowed to live as the leader of the cult is in love with me. It is JP my illegal immigrant ex boyfriend.

I woke up scared. And a bit angry with my parents.

and so since then...

well life has calmed down somewhat into a gentle 7day work week!! but that will soon be remedied into a 6day work week. I have little to do in my spare time though so the breathing comes a little easier.

the exhibition and course ending was a total anti-climax even for the non-event i expected it to be! but seeing old friends while in London was great.

I got a job as skipper on an Ark. On this Ark I am aiding the manufacture of jointed animals; so far elephants and hares, learning sage; and plenty of organising. Today I also started planning a photoshoot of said animals. So I started 4weeks ago just doing 1day a week on a voluntary basis and last week I was offered an extra day....AND PAY!!

At the restaurant after an almost meltdown we have hired some new staff and it is my new role there to train them which has meant a payrise and some more responsibility. So work wise I think I'm doing pretty well at the moment.

Once I regulate my hours I shall have a little more room to watch awful movies and tv! Maybe do some things where I can take some pictures!

tic-hec

i'm waiting for life to calm down just a little. I am currently juggling...

my own work for the exhibition in London

organising others to get their work done for the London exhibition

finding a new flatmate

showing potential new flatmates around the house and attempting to entice

waitressing

looking for jobs, going to AN interview and waiting to hear from it

going to London for the exhibition.

soon there will be a little pause in between my activities. i am looking forward to a gentle breeze.

it appears I am being enjoyed in Glasgow! or at least read a little.

arg.

i am hungover/still drunk. i want food. i need to go food shopping. i do not want to leave my bed. my typing is bad. i want more sleeep.

summer is here!

smells of warm pavement and growing grasses. birdies singing here n there, tho if i went to cumbria im sure the sound is much more pronounced!

sun warming down to the bones.

yum yum summer

an intermittent presence

theres a guy who as an intermittent presence in my life. he has just reappeared from the depths of his own life. and he reminds me of all the awful things i was doing last time he was around. luckily that was 2 years ago and while i don't know if my behaviour has really improved it is more honest.

I was on tv last night! on BBC1. I was in the audience of the debate for the north east n cumbria area.

post birthday blogging

well it started on thursday with a wild night out with Kerri, ummm i remember the start and then taking a very hot boy home and making him hot blackcurrant!! anyway saturday brought the main event starting with a breakfast of massive happy birthday cookie delivered right to my bed by Kerri. got up n showered, talked to mum who is coming over on tuesday which im pretty excited about. shes gonna b on tv (again). did the washing up n put the rubbish out. popped to morrisons and came back just in time for gem, stu and tony arriving. we walked into town cos it was such lovely warm day and pottered around. walked back and me n gem put the lottery on (we did not win!)

and got back to the house to find another best friend of mine in her brand spanking new company car!! a little wine in the front yard and then got ready and taxied our way to the restaurant. the meal was delish, the company was outstanding.

it was the funnest time i've had, and remembered, in a LONG time. so awesome to be surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world. drinks at the cluny and then homeward bound.

after midnight i was berated for my lack of life choice making. but at least they waited til the date rolled over from my birthday!

today me n snic had a nice lie in and croissants for brekkie, with a little more cookie. and then a walk thru the parks of heaton.

the birthday bubble has burst since she left, ive done 2 lots of washing up and cleaned the cooker top! i nearly did the kitchen floor but i think i might leave that for 2mora! can't have all the fun in one evening!

i have been blessed with lots of lovely and thoughtful gifts. this has been one of the best birthdays i've had. i need to thank a lot of people for that. thank you.

soozieP is rutted. in bed watching movies. creating an actual physical rut in this bed. its harder to climb the sides and get out. but i have clothes to mend and rubbish to put out so i guess i'll get there eventually. maybe the sides wouldn't seem so steep if my activities we're to be more exciting!

after my degree i was so sick of school and feeling like i wasn't working hard enough and my work wasn't good enough and i was so sick of it i was never doing my best. and even before that feeling i was always a little half-arsed about the work anyway.

having 2years out made me really want to be back at school again and now after another 3years studying i'm back to the same old sick of it all feeling. today i've stayed in bed, its now 1pm and i should have been up this morning to shoot, dropped a film off for developing and be in the darkroom by now. instead i just stayed in bed. watched greek. tried to watch one tree hill. and now debating gossip girl. i can always tell when i'm not enjoying life cos i start to escape it with all these silly american teen programs.

sitting at home on a saturday night the day before valentines!!

but i have a date for tomorrow! well, i have a few dates. more than a few. i have a date with a 9 or more table section in chiquitos! so possibly over 100people.

joy!

lazy?

i feel like i've bee very lazy of late. examples....

1)today i came home from school and got in bed to watch the lastest episode of One Tree Hill, than watched some greek, then a shit movie, then had a nap, then more greek

2)yesterday i went nextdoor and watched 3hours of tv, transfixed and very little movement

3)many days i seem to do a lot of sitting in bed watching shit, or monitoring facebook, pretending to do schoolwork. i promised myself i would stop being so sedintary when i got up2 date with greek. only 3episodes to go!! so since xmas i have watched 2 1/2 seasons of greek!!! as well as all the other crap i habitually watch!

4)i ate a LOT of popcorn today and i didnt even like it very much.

these times of laze are interspersed with periods of high energy activities tho, i worked over the weekend, i hoovered today! not quite sure that i'm in a good balance quite yet.... laze is still a majority.