soozieP is rutted. in bed watching movies. creating an actual physical rut in this bed. its harder to climb the sides and get out. but i have clothes to mend and rubbish to put out so i guess i'll get there eventually. maybe the sides wouldn't seem so steep if my activities we're to be more exciting!

after my degree i was so sick of school and feeling like i wasn't working hard enough and my work wasn't good enough and i was so sick of it i was never doing my best. and even before that feeling i was always a little half-arsed about the work anyway.

having 2years out made me really want to be back at school again and now after another 3years studying i'm back to the same old sick of it all feeling. today i've stayed in bed, its now 1pm and i should have been up this morning to shoot, dropped a film off for developing and be in the darkroom by now. instead i just stayed in bed. watched greek. tried to watch one tree hill. and now debating gossip girl. i can always tell when i'm not enjoying life cos i start to escape it with all these silly american teen programs.

sitting at home on a saturday night the day before valentines!!

but i have a date for tomorrow! well, i have a few dates. more than a few. i have a date with a 9 or more table section in chiquitos! so possibly over 100people.

joy!

lazy?

i feel like i've bee very lazy of late. examples....

1)today i came home from school and got in bed to watch the lastest episode of One Tree Hill, than watched some greek, then a shit movie, then had a nap, then more greek

2)yesterday i went nextdoor and watched 3hours of tv, transfixed and very little movement

3)many days i seem to do a lot of sitting in bed watching shit, or monitoring facebook, pretending to do schoolwork. i promised myself i would stop being so sedintary when i got up2 date with greek. only 3episodes to go!! so since xmas i have watched 2 1/2 seasons of greek!!! as well as all the other crap i habitually watch!

4)i ate a LOT of popcorn today and i didnt even like it very much.

these times of laze are interspersed with periods of high energy activities tho, i worked over the weekend, i hoovered today! not quite sure that i'm in a good balance quite yet.... laze is still a majority.

snow

and so much of it! brilliant brilliant snow. and i went sledging and made a snowman, whose head has stayed on remarkably well despite the melty shrinkage and bad balancing.

awesome snowtimes!

if only

i was give a kitten in my dream last night and i was so happy.

then i woke up.

so to get over my obsession i did the thing i was obsessing over. it only made me obsess more. so last night i just went and pulled someone else, and that was probably even worse.