the other world

im just about to go to bed and thinking about what i have to do tomorrow seemed so foreign to me. like going to work, somethin so normal to me usually, seemed almost inconceivable! today has been a most wonderful day in Soozland. shopping with 3of my closest friends who i don't get to c too often, i was so excited, so happy. they all make me feel so loved. i am emotionally exhausted from so much elation. yay for you and me and us. together. thank you.

sometimes the most riduculous things happen

and this one ended in a £15 taxi ride and a fashion shoot. i was slightly disappointed with myself, model was great and did all i asked. i should have asked more. i had one main idea for one of the shots and i forgot about it! rubbish! did get some good shots tho. yay!

Emma

On your 18th birthday we were going out in Cockermouth, we were friends but I wasn't one of your group like the rest of you were. Outer circle i'd say. But we all met at your house before hand and you needed a little break from the others so we went upstairs to straighten my hair! i was amazed at the straightness and i asked for some exactly the same for my 18th. a month after yours to the day.

For some reason i decided i really didn't want to go on a sociology trip to some Christian retreat kinda place, I don't remember why but I even spoke to ole Thall' about it. Anyway i was forced to go an was in a foul mood because of it. Until we met Scott and George of course! Oh those accents! I'm sure at some point we swapped as well. I wonder if I ever told you i went to America and surrounded myself with accents as part of my degree. I wonder when the last time we spoke was.

Remembering you with great fondness, these memories are mine and I promise to enjoy them for us both.

Sue-Ellen

i did a good thing. and it was partly selfish.

you know when you have those good ideas that are a little too much work and so you don't do them and feel totally disappointed in yourself for the rest of the day? i actually did it and it still feels so much better.

it was my friend at home's birthday and i'd already said i couldn't go. i had invited her over here, it would have masde a nice change and we could have had a lovely time pottering around doing the better tings in life art, eating and meandering. i was quite diappointed and slightly frustrated with life whan she arranged an outing at home, especially as i was doing my zipslide that morning so i assumed i was pretty much tied to newcastle.

the zipslide didn't have the affect on me i thought it would. it was a lot of waiting around and then a burst of heavy excitement and then it was over. we had a LOVERLY lunch at the cafe next to my house and then i was like now what?!?!

i came back up to my room. i checked train times and the facebook event to see what their plans were and then i rang another friend and we sorted out the surprise. i was so sure my friend would figure out i was coming, and the surprise was delicious. it had been running through my mind, when and how we would meet and whether she would really be surprised. and oh she was. i was waiting at the bus stop when their bus pulled in and i was behind her, SURPRISE! heeheeeee i feel she was delighted! we had a lovely meal, and we didnt quite stand still to watch the fireworks but we saw them through the trees as we marched towards them. we were together and it felt so much better than last year when all the fireworks i saw were from the back entrance at work. standing in a service yard alone feels very lonely in front of a spectacular.

what has made it even better is that and even different friend of mine, on hearing what had transpired has told me he is proud of me and what a lovely thing it was i did.
it felt like a kiss on the forehead, which is sometimes a most perfect thing.

and you don't know this, but she did much the same thing for me a few years ago. i like to think we are there to save each other when needed. and probably when not so needed.

i should

be taking my camera everywhere with me! i'm so annoyed at myself for not doing so. i got to the gig last night and the singer would have been so good to photograph and it wasn't too packed so i could have got to the front. i am such a pest.

it is rather a large camera tho. and if ver i take my compact i get so hateful of it as compacts are a pile of rubbish. ru u u u bish.

grr

this is ont time when me and mikey moo were naughty in edinburgh. we were very naughty in edinburgh.

someone stole from me

at work i keep a float of £10, it stays in my locker when i'm not at work and silly silly Sooz left her locker key in the locker. I left work at 8.30 on sunday eve and returned at 5on monday. The float was gone. This is the second time this has happened. I'm so disappointed.

I think i'm being mean to someone for not a good enough reason. Well no, i'm not being mean; i'm indifferent, polite and verging on friendly but it makes me seem mean because they are so desperate to be liked. Another thing i find a total turn off! And if they stopped making such a big deal over it we could both just happily ignore each other unless contact is necessary.

sooz and the army and the rock and rollers

I ache! I hurt in every muscle in my body! so yesterday i went to an army barracks with school, not it seemed like it was gonna be a day of adventures with a little army spiel thorwn in that i would be able to quite easily ignore. turns out they'd run out of paintballs so instead they drilled us on the marching stuff, in the cold and rain and wind! andy they got fairly annoyed when we really didn't care all that much about it! erm hello you have a bunch on photography students, we're here for fun, noone would dream of dreaming of joining the army, what the fuck do you expect!!!!! bears of very very very little brains. oh and sexist, homophobic idiots! quelle surprise. it's so refreshing when people really do conform to the stereotype.
the afternoon was more fun with team building activities in the woods. tho i really do ache.

i got home and had a little down time then made dinner and went to meet schmem for the gig. Foals are a band that she knows from home so we were on the guestlist and hung out with them afterwards, getting free drinks. I was babysat by one of them while she went for a cigarette and i told him about the army. i'm sure he was rivitted. and then we went and hung out at the tour bus!!! so cool! well actually just dead cold. i had to call a taxi and bail. not too hardcore this week!

and that was yesterday. and today i ache.

boy drama

there is none!! the boy is gone. the start of this week was overflowing with drama drama drama. and now there is none. now there is time to breathe and fresh air to inhale.
im gonna have a lovely friday night in, immersing myself in the pretend drama of rubbish films, sipping slowly on a glass of rather nice white wine and snuggled nice n warm amongst my bedding. delicious, lazy, boring friday night. yay!

where does all the tax go?

if you are working in the uk illegally and still paying roughly £400 a month in tax where does this tax go? they obviosly don't mind the working until some unkind individual (?) tips them off anf they HAVE to do something about it.

wankers!

so thats an indication of how my week started. now i'm just exhausted. and i really hope my pictures come out well from this weeks shoots.

gazza probably isn't dead then

so we were just sitting round watching 'lost in austen' last night, well stacy was asleep. but anyway it was her phone that rang. it was her not-boyfriend and a friend of his fathers blah blah blah crime scene blah blah Paul Gasgoine is dead. shock shock shock.

we looked on the news. and we looked again this morning and no mention of it. and i'm thinking we can't be THAT far ahead of the game. i mentioned it to a girl at school today and she said her boyfriend had heard the same thing!

still not convinced. but not i'm so intrigued as to how and why the rumour start?? and hows good was it that it spread that fast??

started school again again again again

i started college on monday. its been good. there are some people from my course last year, two nice and two not! the two not are completely ignoring the rest of us, not even a passing smile! so our first project is called good, bad and ugly. i have to take 3 pictures to reperesent tthat, one for each word. and i have to do it in the haymarket bus station! hmmmmmmmmm

epic journey - for Tamas

So i think i can safely blame this all on my brother, Simon cos he is king of the epic adventure-journey.
It's after solfest (3day music/hippy festival in Cumbria), we have slept a night in proper beds, showered, eaten real food and pretty much feeling human again so we decided to travel back to our respective homes together. Dad took us to the station and we set off in good time for the train from Aspatria to Carlisle where we would board another train to Newcastle and part ways there. Our train from Aspatria was a little late but nothing to remarkable. We got settled on the train, bought our tickets and chatted a little. Halfway to the next staion I burst out a load of paniced expletives. I shocked the near-by passengers. I had left my mobile at home. We quickly ran through a list of possible ways to reunite me with my phone but nothing really seemed worth the hassle. As we were considering me getting off at the next station and returning for my phone simon realised he had left his house keys for Durham at home too. There would be no-one in the flat and his girlfriend was moving house that day and not really to be disturbed.

We both disembarked the train, walked past the bemused guard and traipsed to the bus stop. There was not a bus for 40 mins so we went to the pub for a quick drink. On the bus home I rolled a joint which we smoked on the walk from the bus stop to my parents house. On arrival I was so stoned I could barely function and could not even consider walking back to the bus stop. After an amazing cuddle with Mimi SmartyPants, a drink and some crumpets I felt much better though. Luckily dad arrived home at this point and drove us back to the bus stop. We got the bus to Carlisle.

On arrival in Carlisle we could have got off a stop early and walked through town but as we had bags and the like with us we decided to stay on the bus til the main stop, closer to the train station. Bad idea. We got stuck in this huge traffic jam and by the time we made it to the train station we had just missed a train. So off to the pub for another drink! I finally made it home at something ricidulous like 8pm after setting off at 1pm. For Simon it was probably more like 9pm.

The End

i was a naughty girl

and i'm still recovering from the shock of it! you know when it just sneaks up on you in a dull moment and you have an 'oh my god what did i do' moment? they have been visiting me all week.
many people have found it highly amusing and that makes me feel better about it and the hardest question to answer is why don't you just enjoy the memory and put it down to experience? well once i get over the shock i will thank you. or was it good?/was it bad? i don't think it was particularly either. it was just a thing that happened. it has shades of both. the haunting is bad but then sometimes i am able to just smile at my wild stupidity. haha silly girl.

retarded girl needs new identity to hide from blog

jesus god i am so retarded!!! blogging is so dangerous. i vow to only blog very carefully from now on.

the sun is shining today but it is sstill quite cold. i wore a skirt to go to the dentist but it pissed me off so much i changed back to lovely lovely jeans asap. the end.